Is a new prescription the answer…?
Do you need to put off the things you enjoy in order to fit around the needs of others? Are you a busy parent? Do you have people who are relying on you? Are you in a demanding job? Working long hours to make ends meets? If so you’re not alone. I hear similar stories every week; “I’d love to (go back to school, go for a weekend away, find a relationship etc.) but I have to fit around other commitments”.
If this is you, my guess is that you’ll be surprised to find out that you need new glasses!
That’s right; you need new glasses because you are suffering from short sightedness when it comes to time.
What you need is a “looking glass” into the future – you might know it better as a calendar!
If I were to ask you to pull out YOUR calendar right now – how far ahead would you have scheduled the things that YOU want to do? I’m not talking your kid’s football fixtures, parents’ birthdays, society functions or any of the other things that are arranged for you. I’m talking about things that you want to do for YOU!
These other things are organised for you and may well be really important, the thing you may have missed is they also provide a clue as to how you can do more of what you want too.
If you have a lot of commitments and don’t have a calendar with things you want to do planned out into the future, I’d almost guarantee you’re dancing to someone else’s tune.
The answer to fitting in time to pursue your own dreams, hobbies and passions when your life is full of other commitments is to plan them way ahead of time.
For example if you would love a weekend away with your partner and you’re struggling to find time; throw it out in the future. Pick a weekend 6 months in the future and book it in as a fixed commitment and see what happens.
Your mind will naturally start to arrange your other priorities around this “fixed” commitment and as the time approaches you’ll find that other people just seem to fit in around your date.
6 months will pass before you know it and you can enjoy that weekend happy in the knowledge that you’ve already got another planned.
Beginning to stretch out your plans and thinking more strategically really is one of the core skills to fitting in your dreams while still meeting your daily commitments.
I’m not saying this is always easy; I still occasionally find myself going into weekends with no plan and reacting to other people’s plans. Not planning was fine when I was single and spending all my time climbing with a group of others with no commitments, for years we decided last minute and went anywhere. But as I got older, got married, got a responsible job and then began my own business, this became much tougher and it took me a while to learn the power of what I’m sharing today. If you too are struggling to fit your goals and dreams in around your other commitments then give this a go – you’ll be glad you did.
I’ve said it a lot before and I’m going to say it again now. If you don’t have your own plan then you’ll be living someone else’s plan and chances are they haven’t got much planned for you.
The question you I’d ask you now are:
Is living someone else’s plan OK with you?
If not grab your calendar and get planning!
Can you see how you’ll apply this? Do you think I’m talking rubbish or sense? Does all of this sit with you? Will you give it a go?
Anth.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Dear Mr. Quinn,
Thank you for sending this to me today. Your message directly spoke to my heart and the circumstances in my daily life. I need new glasses.
Best regards,
Robbie - Miami, Florida USA
May 1st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Anthony: I am ashamed and liberated at the same time to tell you that I have deleted your e-mails on my spam e-mail for quite some time now. I have been mistrusting since there are so many gimmicky things out there to flamboozle naive consumers. But I’ve got to say Anthony, that I was really drawn into this latest contact, and it really resonates! I am going to be sure to offer your contacts thoughtful consideration from now on. This was a very helpful reflection and I thank you. JT
May 1st, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Hi Anth
Thanks for the latest message and yes I do need new glasses, good one!
Regards
Nancy
May 1st, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Anth: thanks for this..I too have been shortsighting myself and subconsciously dancing to others tunes as well. Thanks for this email as well as the others in the past. I anticipate reading more.
Cheers,
Kevin
May 1st, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Thank you Anth.
Almost all of my life I have been dancing to the tune others have been playing… parents, husband, kids, friends and those well wishing neighbors that always drop in for coffee that want you to get involved in some charity, drive or whatever. I think this is the most (best) sight for letting me turn into the person that I always wanted to be. I am probably the biggest procrasting, never say no, queen of pack rats ever, and since I have been reading your emails…wow, major transformation. Stuff is disappearing, and I am actually getting to all that little stuff that I have always wanted to do. Procrastination is now a thing of the past, and saying no just got a whole lot easier. I had never thought of booking in my calendar with stuff that I wanted to do, but now that is happening too.
Thank you for all your hard work to give people (and myself) this empowering knowledge.
Rose from Canada
May 1st, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Dear Sir, Forever i have been telling myself the same as you do, BUT coming from you it seems more convincing !
My house has become a mess - not dirty, but unbelievably untidy. I start one activity, leave it for another one, or to catch the bus, leave the “mess” behind, promise myself that i will tidy-up when i come home, get home exhausted. and the following day the same happens again. Living in an excessively untidy house is depressing, and being depressed i can’t concentrate to decide what to do with that “stuff”, so i get out in the garden to dig and weed, and the house gets worse each day.
PLEASE help me .. it feels like “tidying up” is “doing something for myself”, and that i “have to” be accessible to people who phone me because they are bored, or lonely, i do feel for them, but i end up spending hours on the telephone, or visiting people out of imagined “duty”.
H E L P ….
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
Thank you!… I am deriving ongoing pleasure from my achievements through following your regime!
The ‘booking it in my diary’ idea is fantastic! I went right out and bought ‘daytimers’!
olivia
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Great to hear you’re actually using the material; as I’m often saying overcoming your challenges and moving forwards relies on your willingness to take action and learn on the way. Also remember the power of association, the fact that you keep sharing your stories challenges and wins will encourage others to step up and take action in their lives too :o)
Anth.
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Henriette,
It sure isn’t always easy when you want to help others and you have things you want to do for yourself too.
Personally, if possible I like to make solutions win: win and as easy and fun as possible. I can’t help thinking that there maybe just such a solution you haven’t spotted yet.
You have a house that you believe needs tidying, and a group of lonely bored people who have hours to spare and want your help?
I guess you wouldn’t be totally comfortable admitting your house was untidy and you’d benefit from their help. Still it’s a funny thing that by admiting our weaknesses we often help other people be more accepting of themselves too, so what if you could ask for some help?
Maybe there is a good reason that you can’t just invite them over for a house clearning party, after all you couldn’t just ask them to help you could you? I mean they might love to help and it’s likely that everyone would win. What the hell I think I’d say this probably is the easiest solution and it’s a fantastic win: win.
You get to help them and get a tidy house. They get company, possibly meet new people, get something useful to do and are helping out a friend. All because you realised that you can ask for help now.
How do you think you’d feel if you’d pulled this off had a tidy house and had helped a load of people do something useful and meet new people too?
Have fun,
Anth.
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:14 pm
I was just wondering as why i haven’t planned my life and there is so much of reorganization required in it. I have started telling myself that I will not dance to other tunes but compose a tune. You gave me a direction today. Thanks!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Well done Anth,
I am passing on your mail as I know so many who really need this advice.
However, me the most!! I live in the moment, but yes, there is a tomorrow to look forward to…… for plans to be made in advance - and I thank God that at 60 I still enjoy good health, work full time and have those around me that I love and enjoy - but there is also a “Helen” inside that has her own secret aspirations and ambitions to fulfill; I will jot down those in advance for me!
Thank,
Helen from Sydney Aust.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
_Henriette_ , are you there?
I would love to hear if you took Anth’s suggestion, and asked for some help.
I am also struggling, and this could be good for me too.