Anth Quinn

The initial impetus to set goals is something for which we seem to have a natural tendency. To some degree we all set them all the time. However, achieving goals – actually seeing them through to completion - would seem to be less innate! When most of us sit down to set ourselves goals, there is a brief surge of energy, enthusiasm and progress before we lose momentum and eventually give up and drift back into our old ways of thinking and behaving.

Perhaps the most familiar example of this is the making of New Year Resolutions. Have you ever made one? Did you keep to it? If ‘Yes’ – Well done! What follows in this chapter may be familiar to you already. If ‘No’ - Take heart! The reason you didn’t succeed is probably attributable to the quality of your goal setting technique rather that the lack of will power you may well have blamed. You probably identified a vague wish or desire without making a firm commitment to action and change. If your resolution didn’t involve action and commitment, it wasn’t a fully formed goal!

Unfortunately this confusion between ‘identifying vague wishes’ and ‘setting well formed goals’ leads some people to decide that goal-setting is a waste of time. Nothing could be further from the truth. By setting clear goals, following guidelines like those given below, people really do change their lives forever. It may not always be easy, but then neither is living an unfulfilling half-life.

To be well formed, a goal must incorporate several key features. It must be:-
1. Specific. To help you move from the vague to the specific, describe the desired result to yourself. ‘To fit into my size 12 dress’ is more specific than ‘to eat less fried food’. Ensure that your goals describe what you positively want, rather than what you are seeking to avoid. Our subconscious minds cannot process a negative – if you’re not sure that you believe this, note what happens if I tell you NOT to think about elephants! Telling your subconscious mind what you DO want, ideally in the present tense and in the affirmative, helps to reinforce the message. Once your subconscious has got the message it is programmed to do all it can to ensure that your behaviour stays in line with that message – and it’ll also ensure you experience uncomfortable guilt feelings if you it doesn’t!

2. Measurable in some way. A goal ‘to run 10 kilometres by November’ is easier to measure than ‘to be a better runner’. Using this approach it is also much clearer what you are setting out to achieve and also to identify the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. This helps to foster and sustain motivation as well as measure progress. If the goal is “to be better runner” your subconscious mind will expect you ‘to be a better runner’ every time you go out! It never questions or argues with the messages you give it. If for some reason you have a bad day, again it will induce uncomfortable feelings of disappointment and self-doubt that could compound a sense of failure, lead to your motivation waning, and might ultimately lead to you giving up.

3. Inspirational. If your goal describes something you really want, then you’re on the right track. If, however, it is being fuelled by your own or somebody else’s ‘should’ or ‘must’ messages (known as the internal critical parent!) then it will be much more difficult to achieve. Motivation towards pleasure is generally much more sustainable than motivation away from pain! However, if a necessary short-term task towards achieving a long-term goal is unpleasant or doesn’t motivate you directly, try to frame it in the broader context of the pleasure which achieving the long-term goal will bring. The good feelings that you can ‘borrow’ from the future can help to sustain you in the present.

4. Unconditional. Goals need to be simple, present tense, and affirmative statements of an outcome. Using conditional words and expressions such as “try to” and “if” are really just subconscious preparation for the failure that will inevitably follow. It’s as if you’re already saying ‘I’ll achieve my goal if nothing gets in the way!’ You’re already handing power, control and responsibility back to your self-limiting beliefs. Remember to state exactly what you want and go for it. If you don’t get what you want, keep the goal but change your approach. Not getting the result you wanted is not failure - it’s learning. You have identified a way that doesn’t work for you, so now you’re one step closer to finding out the way that will.

5. Written down and reviewed regularly. By writing your goal down you are mentally committing to it. In effect you are making a contract with yourself. Moreover, the act of writing it down reinforces it in both your conscious and subconscious mind. Reviewing your goal regularly not only keeps it fresh in your mind, but also serves as an ‘early warning system’ if you’re going off track. You can then refocus before any momentum is lost. Reviews also offer an opportunity to introduce some flexibility. There may have been some changes or learning since the last review which have alerted you to the need to do something different on the next leg of the journey. The final destination might be fixed, but you can always fine-tune your route should changes in circumstances or new information call for adjustments to be made.

6. Realistic. If your goal is to be the first man on the moon then you’ve already missed the boat (although this goal is still open to the first woman of course!). Even though that particular boat has sailed, all is not lost. Ask yourself what being the first man on the moon would have meant to you. What would it have allowed you to be, to do, or to feel? What need would it have met? When you know clearly what you wanted from achieving that goal you will probably be able to find a different way of achieving the same personal result.

If your goal has all of the above features it should be very easy to make it the subject of a visualisation. This is a technique used by many high-achieving sportsmen and women. It can help you to reinforce your goal in your mind, and, when used frequently and regularly (perhaps before you settle down to sleep) it can be a very powerful tool indeed. When very relaxed, close your eyes and think about what you will see, hear and feel when you have achieved your goal. Make the picture as vivid, colourful and clear as possible in your mind. Make any sounds crisp and clear. See yourself achieving your goal and drift into your own image. Notice the positive feelings that are associated with achieving the goal. Linking these positive feelings with a strong visualisation will reinforce your goal and fuel your motivation to make whatever changes are necessary to make the vision a reality.

As you’ll be realising, when it comes to setting well formed goals there is much to consider, but like most things in life it gets easier with practice . (Remember just how complicated and confusing driving seemed the first time you got behind the wheel!) If it feels intimidating try applying the guidelines to some small aim to begin with. Once you see how well it works you’ll be keen to take on bigger challenges. Nothing builds confidence like success.

Once you’ve built up your trust and confidence in the process it’s worth setting goals in all the major areas of your life. So as not to over-face yourself, you can then select your top three for special attention. You could keep any others as secondary goals until the next scheduled review date.

The main reason for picking several key goals is to ensure that growth happens in a balanced way. Goal setting is incredibly powerful and part of the reason for this is that our subconscious mind behaves much like an adoring but over-enthusiastic child. Its desire to protect us is matched by its desire to please us and so it will be constantly seeking to help us move towards any goal we’ve shared with it. This can cause problems if we set goals in an unbalanced way. Our subconscious mind has no motivation or commitment problems at all – indeed it can be extremely inventive in finding ways to steal time from other ‘less important’ areas of our lives not related to the goal we have set it! This process accounts for what has gone awry in the relationships of workaholics who, in their determination to achieve their single goal ‘to provide for the family’, fail to see the impact of neglecting other important areas of family life – and often too much damage is done before there’s time to take remedial action! Setting goals in a balanced and regularly reviewing them helps prevent such imbalances from arising.

I’m often asked whether people should set long or short-term goals. I answer that a mixture of both works best for most people. If we only set short-term goals we tend to spend our time dealing with short-term issues and lose track of the bigger picture of creating the life we want. If we only set long-term goals, we may find that the difficulty in identifying specific actions and the absence of immediate tangible progress will cause us to lose motivation. For long-term goals, a good approach is to split them up into a series of short-term goals with deadlines - this makes it much easier to see progress and maintain motivation.

It is important to remember that we have a much greater chance of success and happiness if we have people alongside us to offer support and encouragement. Building a better life is a much more enjoyable endeavour with backing from those around us, and so family, friends and colleagues can all prove to be an invaluable resource. Nonetheless, whilst we might be excited and enthused by the changes our goal setting is bringing about, it is important to remember that change can be scary for those we’re close to. Our partner, children, family and friends will all be affected as we change our lives - so we need to give careful consideration to how the changes are impacting on them and offer reassurances where necessary. Equally, of course, those around us might ‘get the bug’ and start making changes in their own!

As well as setting individual goals, it can be a very creative practice to set joint goals as a family, team or group. In such endeavours always aim for a ‘win:win’ scenario where everybody’s needs and wants are considered. This will ensure everyone stays ‘on board’ with the final goal and will increase the chances of success in the long run. Sharing a common core purpose can be a deeply bonding experience.

As a final thought I’d like to alert you about a hugely important but often overlooked aspect of goal setting and that is reward. It’s very motivating (and much more fun) if we reward ourselves for our successes. Small rewards can be awarded for small successes and big rewards for the achievement of primary goals. If such rewards are planned in from the start they can help introduce a fun factor, and hence boost motivation. Remember, the time to be happy is now.

How will you reward yourself for setting your Life Goals?

In the next chapter I’ll be looking at taking action and using goals as a basis for decision-making strategies.

“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” (Seneca)

This entry was posted on Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 10:53 pm and is filed under Goal Setting, Motivation, Personal Development, Take Control (Chapters 1-7). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.