Anth Quinn

What if…?

Over the last few months I’ve noticed a pattern in the way many people talk and I want you to trust me because this is important.

I want you to STOP for a moment and think about two little words

“What if?”

What comes up for you when you relax for a few moments and just say these words to yourself?

What if?

Whatever your answer is it’s just perfect and it’s important…

…it’s important because your answer gives a window into one of your deepest motivational filters.

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about some events in their past where they had made a decision and they were reflecting on how their life would have been different if they had chosen differently.

In chatting it became clear to me that this person, let’s call him John was blind to his own bias and this was causing him some real pain.

Here’s the thing, have you ever noticed when you’re reflecting on past decisions you find yourself wondering what might have been?

It’s a funny thing that many people seem to have a fixed filter when looking back – They look at the world through a

“What if it had been great” filter…

Beating themselves up with dreams of what might have been.

Have you ever stopped to consider what if you’d made the decision and things hadn’t worked out.

…after all nothing in life is perfect, so why beat yourself up with an imaginary perfect “might have been” past.

But before we get to that…

It’s also been said that “What if” are the saddest words you could have on your gravestone.

…and that might be true if your walking through life, avoiding making decisions and taking action because your scared of what might go wrong “What if again” then you may well find yourself bemoaning your lost chances.

I often come across this when coaching or running training courses to help people overcome their fears and change habits as they begin to take more control of their lives. When people think of taking some action they often unconsciously focus on what if things go wrong?

All I want to encourage you to do in this article is to become aware of your own “What ifs?” and begin to balance your view.

If your beating yourself up for missed opportunities and the “What ifs?” of the past just recognise that things may well not have gone as well as your imagining.

If you really want to avoid looking back with painful regret, maybe it’s time to ask yourself what if I took action and it went well?

As ever in life flexibility and balance are important,

What if it all goes well will allow you to see past your imagined limitations and problems, and what if it goes wrong will help you plan to solve potential problems on the way.

1. Think of something you’ve been putting off until now.
2. What if you took action and it went perfectly – how would you know?
3. What if things went wrong, how might you deal with these?
4. What if you’d taken this action solved the potential problems and achieved your desired result easily?

• a. How might you feel inside?
• b. What you be likely to see?
• c. What would you be saying to yourself as you notice how good you feel now?

I don’t expect or want you to just believe me on the power of this just by reading it; the only way you’re going to believe and use this yourself is to get a real experience of it.

So if you haven’t done the exercise yet, stop reading and go back and do it now.

What if spending 5 minutes asking yourself these questions and writing down your answers was the trigger to making a real change in your life today, that would be a good thing, don’t you agree?

…and it would be great to hear about your breakthoughs so why not share below?

This entry was posted on Monday, February 16th, 2009 at 9:30 am and is filed under Procrastination. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.