Are you too good to risk taking action on this?
We all want to feel special and I believe that everyone has their dreams, their unique gifts and talents that if we were to express them could make for a better world. In fact I see my job as awakening people to possibility in their lives and to helping them uncover and move beyond the limiting boundaries of thought and action they have created.
I hear people everyday telling me that what they would love to do. Many people I see and speak to have carried their dreams around for years but just haven’t got around to taking effective action on them.
What could be going on?
There may be many reasons but here’s my thoughts on the most common reason dreams stay dreams.
As the song goes
“You got to have a dream, if you don’t have a dream, how you going to have a dream come true?”
That’s a lovely song and having a dream can keep you going when everything seems black, so hang onto your dreams.
But living a life of unfullfilled dreams doesn’t seem a good plan either so how come lots of people put off working on their dreams for years?
Personally I think it boils down to the vague “feel good” nature of dreams – let’s face it you can dream of anything there are no limits, except the limits of your imagination.
This can be where the problems begin, because while your dreams are “out there” in the future they feel good and they are safe!
Blog entry http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=58 provides a great example, if you read the comments you’ll see b and dw are both aspiring authors – they dream of writing a book, the people around them believe in them and yet they don’t write!
While they dream of writing they can be comfortable that they could be a successful author one day, but they don’t write! It seems so simple but they stop themselves from doing it.
What about you, what do you dream of doing without taking the first step?
I’m not immune to this myself, I remember 24 years ago when I was a redundant welder and my brother was a very very unhappy fork lift driver we used to talk and scheme about going to University and both getting a degree! A pretty big dream since we hadn’t one useful qualification between us and didn’t know anyone who’d been to University! But somehow we believed we could do it!
I still remember the despair we both felt when my brother came home with a prospectus he had ordered from the local University - We were gutted! It turned out you couldn’t just sign up, they had entry requirments – This meant that we would need both O and A levels (standard 16 and 18 year old school qualifications in the UK at the time). Now O levels may be just possible, but “A” levels, we didn’t know anyone with A levels surely they were out of our league!
It’s a funny thing that we dreamed of a degree but somehow the thought of having to get “A” levels had knocked the stuffing out of us!
People like us didn’t get “A” levels! Maybe we should lower our sights?
Have you ever noticed how the early steps are the most real and can seem much harder or scarier than working on the dream?
This is one of the points I wanted to make, that is while it’s easy to dream big dreams, sometimes it’s the smaller more “realistic” goals that we “understand” that stop us for years. I mean what if we failed at that lower barrier? We’d have to face up to the “reality” that maybe we weren’t as good as we thought and not up to our dreams!
I may have been ignorant of how things worked back then but I was lucky!
We were both desperate to take action and for years we supported and challenged each other until we both graduated on the same day over 9 years later with 1st class honours! Looking back, while most of the support was unconcious, I think if I hadn’t had the support and challenge of someone close, I may have “fell” at that first hurdle (The second point?).
[Funny thing how time passes, when we set out on that journey, 9 years out seemed such a long term goal, but we graduated way back in 1994 – seems so long ago now, but I still would like to meet and thank those two scared dreamers who decided to work together and act on their dreams]
But what about our potential authors b and dw?
What if they decided to take some action and write that book? Sure, they might not get accepted at first, but they’d learn and grow into better authors as a result. Even if they wrote books that never sold at least they’d have the pleasure of knowing they took their chances! Rather than laguishing on some old unacted upon dream like an old battered fighter telling anyone who was polite enough to listen that he could have been a contender if only he’d had his shot!
But just suppose they really do have talent, what if one or both of them turn out to be a best selling author? How good would that feel, to have faced your fears and made your dreams reality? What a great inspiration for the rest of us to work together and face those small “realistic” challenges that pave the way to your dreams?
So if you were going to take a small action towards your dreams, what could you do today?
Who would you call?
Hey life has few guarentees, you might not ever achieve your dreams but what you become as you face down those small fears could be far more important to you than anything you could dream now!
All the best,
Anth.
PS: When you stop to think about it now, what would you like your “future self” to look back and want to thank you for? How could you help them today?
July 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Hi Anthony,
Thank you, I found this inspirational.
Kind regards
Pam
July 17th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Well what if you don’t have any dreams??
I drifted through life and one day I woke up and said oh my god I’m old, I’m alone, I hate the work I am doing and now working 2 jobs to make ends meet….and where did all the years go and now at an age when you are suppose to be on easy street you find yourself struggling even more…….how did that happen?? ….and now so embarrassed that you become a recluse and shun any social activities…..
So the moral here is parents need to inspire in their kids of what do they want and plan and dream and make it happen……
I just went to work, worked hard, never got paid enough to even pay the basic living expenses and thought that was just the way it was……
July 17th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Hi Shar
Based on my experience its one thing being a parent & inspiring your kids to fulfil their dream, as sometimes at a young age these dreams may be fantasies with no values for success. Also, typical of a normal teen is they could rebel to your imposition & turn it against you.
So the moral here is your child has its own mind.
‘Perhaps’ allow their mind to mature & you as a parent allow their own mind to make up its own mind, inspire their personality & mind as a means of support. Once the direction is established, monitor it with inspiration & generate with your child the desire to fulfill & make it happen.
And if that is not providing results, step back & take a look at yourself & maybe get some advice, as you parental personality may not be the one to inspire……….
Taken from experience & with Kind Regards
Gary
July 17th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
If you don’t have any dreams, create them! Why we are here (at this site) is that at some point we developed an awareness that we want more from life, and developed a desire to change our circumstances. Most of us have been in a rut at some point and still be, but I believe that awareness is our first step to change. Once we have that then we can only look to ourselves to blame. We can’t continue to blame the past or future obstacles, we just have the now. And sometimes it takes just one step to get the ball rolling.
We just have to focus our efforts on taking action which is often the hard part. While I myself often procrasinate, what I do have it the desire to change and access to unlimited resources. There really are no excuses, just fear. I am trusting that desire to move me forward.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:21 am
I believe the sky is the limit and life is an obstacle itself. Challenge yourself each day with a project or two and you too will see how great if feels.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Anth it is very inspirational and motivational story.
I have taken the first step. I have reach out to the people that I have trusted to walk with me. The only problem now that I have is myself. The people that I approached to help me are willing and supportive. I do not know about myself, will I trust my self enoungh to stay in there. The issue is that I think that I am stupid and busy thinking of what they think of me if I do not get the point.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:01 am
Each morning when I wake up I read one of ‘The Seven Spiritual Lawa of Success’ by Deepak Chopra. Speaking of ‘dreams’, in the book ‘The Art of Dreaming’, Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda, “…most of our energy goes into upholding our importance… If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves with enough energy to… catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.” Pause for thought and then begin to dream… no one is ever too old to dream with the view to manifesting their dreams in the world…. As human beings that’s what we do! Swinger stop thinking about yourself and worrying about what others think of you. The truth is they are probably not thinking of you at all.
Thank you Anth… you’re an inspiration right up there with Deepak, Carlos and Don!
July 18th, 2008 at 3:04 am
…and Shar… begin to take responsibility for the choices you make in life. They are all your choices and decisions… stop blaming your parents… or your poverty… or your lack of education… or whatever excuse you can think up and get on with living a life that is a miracle in the making!
kindest thoughts,
olivia
July 18th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I have just realised why I have stopped trying to attempt to fulfil my dreams; because there’s no-one around, it seems, to appreciate them. I have achieved much in my life, travelled the world, ran my own health food business and much more. When I was in the WRAC, I was a sergeant at 2O and a WOII at 23; possibly the youngest WOII in the British Army and almost certainly the one with the least service to have obtained that rank.
At 61, I do Pilates, line dancing several times a week and go the the gym. I have so much energy I need to keep active. There are things I want to achieve but they involve staying still; even when I’m watching television I’m doing other things at the same time; like making phone calls during the adverts or writing a letter. I sleep soundly and do not suffer from hyperactivy; I can unwind at the end of the day. What’s the answer?
July 19th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
MY CHALLENGE IS HOW DO YOU FIND WHAT YOUR PASSIONATE ABOUT, HOW DO YOU FIND WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO FOR A CAREER OR BUSINESS. YOU SPEND 1/3 OR MORE OF YOUR DAY AT WORK, I FEEL YOU SHOULD BEING LIVING A LIFE THAT FEELS INVESTED, FULFILLING, ENERGIZING. WHAT QUESTIONS DO YOU ASK YOURSELF TO FIND YOUR ANSWERS, OR WHAT PROCESS OR STEPS DO YOU TAKE TO FINDING YOURSELF?
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP
BJ
July 20th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Sylvia:
You have the answer! I wish I had achieved so much. Remain active, I wish I had your energy. What achievement involves staying still? Even if you are talking to a friend or watching tv, your mind is still active. There are so many things you can do (since you have the energy). Become a mentor to someone like me who hasn’t reached their dreams - yet. How about doing some volunteer work?
July 21st, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Tammie:
Thanks for your message, it really g’d (?) me up! One of the things I would like to achieve is writing a book, or books. Many people have said to me, ‘You ought to write a book’ because they find me so interesting. However, those people are not in my life now, so I would not be writing to please anyone else. If I were I guess I’d have already done so. I just don’t have the dedication to the cause; I kind of want the book to write itself!
I have considered mentoring in the past and became close to doing it but I didn’t feel I was being true to myself. I mean, if I can’t motivate myself into, for example, writing a book or books, who am I to motivate someone else? Isn’t that what mentors do?
I have also done volunteer work, firstly as a befriender to a young precocious (i.e. old before her time) girl - I won’t go into that - and for MIND, the British Legion, etc. I help people all the time and I love it but it’s knowing where to draw the line. I have been a spiritual healer for thirty years.
Anyway, enough about me. I’d really appreciate it if you told me a little more about yourself and what you would like to achieve or aspire to.