Those annoying little errors,
Regular readers of my mailings will by now no doubt be aware that being a great coach doesn’t make you a great writer.
Now before I go further, its important to realise that I believe in the power of words, there is no doubt that developing ones ability to communicate is one of the key skills in life and just like anything else that’s worthwhile in life, if its worth doing, its worth doing badly, until you can do it well!
So, why am I writing this?
Well my current client and ebook mailing list stands at around 10,000 people from all over the world. One of my joys in life is reading the daily stories I receive from people who are using some aspect of my coaching or writing and transforming their lives.
However, over the last few years, I have also regularly received emails from people who are annoyed by the grammatical and punctuation errors in my articles and emails.
Now as I’ve said earlier, I really do value communication in all of its forms and I do spell check emails and blog entries etc. but it seems too many errors get through for some people.
In response to my latest broadcast I received two email responses discussing these errors, while the message was the same “get a proof reader” the tone was very different – one person was obviously annoyed by my errors, while the other was constructive. In their own way both emails got me thinking, should I employ a proof reader for my email broadcasts?
While coaching myself around this using my journals and the NLP “Meta Model”, I was struck by one of my key beliefs, that is “there is no failure only feedback” – This is one of the core beliefs guiding my coaching practice and yet even I was surprised at how deeply held believes control our behaviour.
In my early years I was held back by a need to over prepare, I tended to hold back and study/prepare until I was convinced I was good enough to do whatever it was well. Adopting the belief of “no failure, only feedback” freed me to just give it a go and learn from the result. I broke out of limiting social situations, went back to school, tried new hobbies, and generally got myself into a whole host of adventures. I made a lot of mistakes, and so long as I’m learning and growing from them I hope I never stop making mistakes.
How does this relate to my writing?
Well, let’s suppose for a minute that I was still holding onto that old need to be perfect first, and had took this first criticism to heart and stopped writing? How many people would have missed out on the opportunity to take action and grow?
But what to do?
While I recognise that it’s OK not to be perfect and I’m delighted with the regular positive feedback I get, the feedback from those that are annoyed by my errors is still useful, and considering it has encouraged me to be more careful when checking my emails, but a proof reader? No, quite simply because I will get better by doing, and not delegating!
So, I apologise for any residual errors in this broadcast, and encourage anyone who finds one, to allow it to remind them to ask themselves:
“What would would you try today, if you were to accept not being perfect and just give it a go?”
Oh, and if you want to tell me that I’ve annoyed you, then please do, I really do value the feedback ;o)
Anth.
April 11th, 2008 at 4:14 am
Hey, I liked that no errors only feedbacks. Sometimes whey you have those little “errors” it does get the attention one needs to get a point across those little “errors” and you have them hooked keep going on or should i say “Keep on trucking” Sincedly,Sharron Gorju
April 11th, 2008 at 4:31 am
Enjoy reading all of you E-mails,and how is one so easily annoyed? Trying to grow and learn good , being perfect not so much.
April 11th, 2008 at 4:38 am
Go Anth! You’re the man!
April 11th, 2008 at 5:05 am
You are right! We can not let the “judgement” of others stop us from going forward and trying. It seems many times that while others, with the best of intentions, try to help us remove a small splinter that is in our eye, they do not realize that the reason they are hindered so much is because of the huge beam that is in their own eye. ;0)
April 11th, 2008 at 6:09 am
“What would would you try today, if you were to accept not being perfect and just give it a go?” I am struugling with doing several things at the moment. I now realise that I have been held back by lack of perfectionsism and constantly feel that I have let myself down and am missing out. These words that you printed yesterday I will be printing off to remind of what it is that stops me. This was a powerful meesage for me. Thankyou so much for your kind thoughts and your ability to help us work with our imperfections.
April 11th, 2008 at 6:24 am
The cynic in me thought that you might have been leaving the errors in to give the writing a feeling of immediacy and authenticity. Now I realise this isn’t so.
Nevertheless I read this article with some concern. I wonder if the reasons you give for not correcting your work might just be a cop out.
I understand what you say about doing it yourself and trying to get it right. That still shouldn’t prevent someone looking over your work before you publish. As a writer I encourage as many people as possible to look over my stuff before I commit to sending it.
There are other issues too. Sometimes it is right to delegate. It leaves you more time to do what you do best and lets others do their job.
Finally I think it is a mark of respect for your reader that you send out work that is as polished as you can given the constraints of time.
The content of your writing is great but sometimes the meaning can get lost if errors are allowed in. There was an example recently in which the example you gave - it was something to do with being untidy and going for a drink - was ruined because I just didn’t guess what you meant to say.
I keep reading you Anthony because I believe in you and your method and I thank you for that regardles of any copy errors.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Hi Anth
I agree that minor errors which don’t impact on the meaning or the message could (and ideally would) simply be overlooked by the reader, I agree too that you are modelling a great message that to wait until we are ‘perfect’ before taking action can simply be an excuse to procrastinate - and don’t I know it!! However, like one of your other readers, on occasion when the structure and flow (rather than the grammar, spelling or punctuation) of your writing has gone awry I have been left confused as to the message and the meaning of your words. It doesn’t annoy me at all, but does leave me pondering whether perhaps having somebody do a read through could help you to pick up on (and hence avoid) those more important scenarios.
Just a thought!
Blessings in all the good work you do.
Pam
April 11th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Bravo! This was soooo right on target. I was a slow learner, but it is so freeing to “go for it” and be willing to laugh at your imperfection. To not do so is to miss a lot of life’s joy.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am
This really made me sit up & think - What would you try today if you were to accept not being perfect - so often I put off doing “things” due to it’s not to the standard I set for myself. I should realise that good enough & actually completing the job in the long run is the thing, as I would feel less stressed & more in control without the threat of an ever growing work load. Presently I have come into work in the holidays to catch up, need I say more!!!!!
April 11th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Hello..
Well we are not perfect ..we all make mistakes and by learning from them we grow.I find it sad that in all your wise words ,all people can do is find the faults.. They are every where and in everything .. I’ve not seen any mistakes in your wirting just the words and how they affect me . Thank you for all your Help Anth. Keep up the good work ..
April 11th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I have heard it said “You’re allowed 12 mistakes a day” and after that “get on with it, and you”re allowed 12 more” !! It got me to thinking - that is a lot of mistakes! Could I actually make that many mistakes a day?? It seems to lighten things up for me, and actually give me , for lack of better word, “permission” to try, and do things.
I am so encouraged by the thoughts and words that are printed on this site.
As I have stated before - this is “Real” Our true character is allowed to “shine”, and how we react to the bright light- well,that is our choice!
April 11th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Dear Anthony,
I enjoy your messages a great deal….. Even if the language is occasionally idiosyncratic….. it adds to the charm of the content. What I particularly enjoy is the authenticity of the writer, his humanity and goodness and light that ooze out from between the words….. I feel these coming to me from another realm altogether, where grammar and punctuation are pretty much useless…. for all that is perceived is vibrational……and these are apprehended by my entire being…. not just by my analytical rational intellectual faculty….. As such, they belong to the realm of Reality and not the realm of Illusion…… For all of this I am very grateful….
With much respect and appreciation…….
Jasmine
April 13th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Hi Anthony,
I have enjoyed your insightful messages and have gained a better outlook because of them. As far as the errors go, maybe a friend can read over your e-mails to pick up and error or two. I do believe we are all human and will ALWAYS make mistakes in one form or another. I work with doctors and they make errors in their electronic medical record notes all the time. Maybe we make more errors when typing because our brain goes faster then our fingers. Keep up the good work. I haven’t heard of the 12 mistakes and then 12 more but I like it.
Thank you!
April 14th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Ditto to all of the above comments. It is your heart and passion that gets beyond those little errors…Thanks for your help.
May your day and those behind the comments be filled with blessings from an open heaven…
Embrace Life
April 14th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Yes, go for it, particularly in a forum like this where it’s about exchange, getting the thoughts down and out there so that people can build on the ideas, respond and take away what they need. I find the 80% rule helpful - going for perfection, that last 20% achievement might take 80% of the time of the whole task. Is it worth it or better to get it out there and then learn from the feedback? Depends on the task, but can be a helpful guideline when the search for perfection is leading you into procrastination.
Cheers
Thea
April 15th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Let’s try our best to get stuff right. Let’s forgive ourselves our mistakes where possible, but let’s not pretend that it doesn’t matter. If you are providing a service to the public it matters. It matters if you are a surgeon or a mechanic or a counsellor. And let’s not be so busy that we can’t ask for help in areas where we are unsure. I would like my surgeon, mechanic or financial adviser to do just that.
If on the other hand we are creating a macrame antimacassar for our own pleasure, I think we can allow leeway in the execution.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I’m with Valerie - I think its important to give yourself permission to make mistakes. I’ve got a new career, with Anth’s help, and I would normally be very stressed by making mistakes in this new job where I have so much to prove. Working with Anth has adjusted my attitude - I do my best but I know I have so much to learn that mistakes will happen. I make note of them & try not to make the same mistake again (note the ‘try’).
April 16th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Ay up Anth!
I have never been great with detail - it’s always been one of my achilles heals through my proffessional life
But not anymore!
In recent years I have got into the “completion not perfection” mindset - if an article seems 80% right, i just go with it, rather than perfecting it. If i have an idea that feels right, we just start it and figure the details out later.
I send an email the minute i get an idea or an instinct rather than thinking and overplanning an idea. And if there is a typo in the email (as there very often is), i dont care!
Of course i check and check again before sending, but if there is still an error, it really is not important to me and so dont let it eat into my self esteem by knocking myself as i used to years ago (because that just makes you make more mistakes and produce less!)
Over the last couple of years, i have just accepted that:-
a) detail and grammer is not my unique ability (i will never be great at it, and its not something i get about)
b) Precision and accuracy are not high on my list of values (ie i dont think they’re that important)
c) Wherease making a difference to others, being creative, solving problems and being a catalyst for change are very high up my list of values
So holding back and over perfecting both stifles me and means i dont do my genius work (ie the work that is my ‘calling’. the work i am naturally talented at)
But when writing articles / ebooks it is an issue and the output is important to me as i dont want to appear unprofessional - so yes, i now have a proof reader check all ‘official writing.’ But sometimes an urgent deadline means i have to proof myself and something gets missed. Well so be it, i;d rather someone get the value of my ideas than it be sitting in my computer waiting to be perfected
So when it comes to whether you ‘need’ a proof reader or not, the question should be:-
1. Is this really important to me (i.e. typos)
2. Is it my unique ability (being gramatically accurate)
those people that truly have an issue with typos etc are people that really place huge value on precision, perfection and detail - which is entirely their their pregogative (spelt wrong!). If they have a real issue with your errors or writing style they will self select and go find a coach who has similar values as them
So when you get emails of this type, I often think its best to just press the delete button and think about all 9,998 readers who were so grateful for the gifts you bring (ideas, tips, inspiration) rather than typo in the vehicle (your writing) that brought delivered the gift….
S
p.s. if there is a typo in the above text - i dont care!!
;o)
April 20th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I really connect with this post. Since KINDERGARDEN, I have been a person who refuses to do things unless she KNOWS she can excell. Two perfect examples are (from childhood) waiting two years to sign up for softball with the rest of the girls in my grade because of fear of failure, and (from adulthood, and current) refusing to by a bike and start cycling with my boyfriend because I’m sure I’d look ridiculous and underperform. This has been a life-long struggle, and one that I’m only recently acknowledging enough to say, “What the hell, get on the bike. If you look ridiculous, you should right now. If you don’t, quit your job and look to go pro!”
I also used to make myself physically sick over the idea of trying something new and then regret for years my lack of bravery. Now, even though I still wish I had been even this clear-minded before, I’m much less likely to look back with regret than to say, “Okay, but that’s over. What do you want to do know that makes you anxious, afraid of failure?” I actually have a list (that’s ever growing) and am slowly (but surely!) checking off and challenging myself.