What sort of a state are you in?
Do you know the difference between a state and a goal?
Many people are confused by this and I often hear people stating their goals as things like: I want to be happy, I want to be relaxed, I want more be more confident. However, these aren’t goals these are desired states,
A goal is something we work to achieve, whereas a state is quite simply and internal state of being that results from the interaction of our thoughts and physiology.
Having said that all of the goals we set are really the means to an end, which is often a state. For example people may want lots of money for the sense of peace they think financial security will bring.
In coaching we do a lot of work to help people set powerful goals, which are aligned with their values and also to ensure that the goals will work together to move them in the direction they want to go.
There is no doubt that working constantly towards a series of goals that are aligned with your values is a great and fulfilling way to live and does bring a deep sense of purpose, growth, peace and happiness.
That’s sounds great doesn’t it, but let’s be honest, we’re all human so what about those days when it all just seems a bit too much? People you love begin to annoy you, you begin to feel overwhelmed and maybe even jump into some good old self-judgement! The last thing people in this situation want is someone telling them is that they would feel better if they had a purpose or a mission. What many people really want is quite simply to feel better now!
They effectively want an aspirin for life’s ‘down times’ and the good news is that you have one already.
It’s called your physiology!
You can think of your state as a combination of your thoughts and your physiology.
Many people try and change their thoughts and that works, but today I’d like to invite you to practice using your physiology to change your state.
Think about someone who is depressed, how do they hold themselves? Slumped, head forwards, shallow breathing, shoulders drooping? You don’t need them to tell you there’s something wrong, you can see it!
Now think of someone who is excited, confident and happy, how do they look? Wide-eyed, big grin, held high, laughing shoulders back, and walking tall? Again, you don’t need to be a master of NLP to see the difference.
The exciting thing about this is that the mind and body are one system, so if your moods (state) affect your physiology, then your physiology will affect your mood!
So next time you find yourself feeling unfocussed overwhelmed, stressed, unhappy or generally down, why not experiment with changing your physiology. Get up walk about energetically, smile and sing a happy song or laugh in your head - if you’re on your own sing or laugh out loud! The louder the better.
This may seem a little off the wall, and I’m not suggesting it is a cure all, but if you need a quick ‘pick me up’ in order to get on, then speaking as someone who is in the midst of last minute wedding plans, I can honestly recommend the benefits of recognising unresourceful states and getting up and doing something to change your physiology :o)
Don’t you generally feel better after exercise?
But why take my word for it, maybe you could print off this page and go somewhere you can be on your own.
Adopt the physiology of a depressed person and notice how you feel?
Then shake it off, stand tall take a deep breath shoulders back big grin and recite Yes, Yes Yes YES YES etc, in your head (or even better out loud if it’s safe to do so) Notice how much better you feel.
So there you have it, it’s simple, it’s free and most importantly it works - but only if you use it.
Bye for now,
Anth.
