The myth of beliefs
Have you ever noticed how sayings and quotes get bounced around and just seem to become accepted as true?
Today, I want to talk about one of the guiding principles of the personal development, NLP and coaching fields. You’ve probably heard it in many forms and today I’m tired of hearing speakers, trainers and coaches reciting it like it were the word of God.
I’m standing up and saying “The king has no clothes”
Henry Ford was a great industrialist and he is credited with the saying:
“Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t you are absolutely right!”
He may have been a great industrialist – but in my opinion he was either misquoted or he was wrong!
Too many well-known personal development gurus are telling people that it is all about belief.
The truth is that beliefs are “possibility” filters; if you don’t believe you can do something then you will probably sabotage your own efforts.
Recognising where your beliefs are holding you back is an important skill, because you will generally filter your reality to confirm your beliefs. If you believe that people are open and friendly then you will tend to meet open friendly people as you go through life. If you believe that the world is full of people trying to rip you off – guess who you will meet?
But this doesn’t mean that just because you believe something that you can make it happen.You don’t live in a cosy “Law of Attraction” world that is solely controlled by you! You live in a world running a multitude on interdependent systems and cycles.
Imagine for a moment someone who had never seen the sea entering a sand castle building competition while on holiday. They have always loved building things and have won every competition they have ever entered. They have genuine natural ability and total, and I mean TOTAL BELIEF that they will win. They decide they will build the most amazing sand castle the world has ever seen. They know it will take a while so they get busy straight away and work late into the night until their castle is perfect – It really is the most amazing piece of sand engineering with strong walls, delicate wall art and dreaming spires! It’s perfect – delighted they head off to get some sleep before the judges turn up tomorrow.
When they arrive in the morning the beach is a mass of people building castles of all shapes and sizes but not one matches up to their perfect castle. The only problem is that they forgot one small detail – they forgot to take account of the tide!
Now this may seem like a crazy example, but people make these mistakes all of the time.
A woman is made redundant and pumps her life savings into a bridal hire shop! Only to close heartbroken 6 months later having failed to understand the business realities.
People build their houses on flood plains believing that things will be OK! Two years later their house is ruined by “unusually” heavy rain.
This is a plea for an end to this myth of the personal development industry, beliefs are an important and powerful filter on reality but there are so many other factors that need to be taken into account.
If belief was all it took then the “total belief” of the Apprentice candidates on TV would carry them all to victory. The truth is that all too often their total belief causes them to be blind to the feedback that could really help them excel!
Don’t be one of the “If you build it, they will come” dreamers!
If you are going to open up a bridal shop – don’t believe it will be successful and invest your life savings and redundancy money in it without doing the research to understand what makes a successful bridal shop and whether there is a genuine need in the marketplace you intend to operate in etc.
If you want to build a perfect home somewhere, don’t build your house on a beautiful sandbar in the summer – do your research and make sure the design and location is fit for purpose.
In summary recognise that your beliefs both limiting and empowering may well be holding you back, so learn to challenge them.
And next time someone tells you it’s all about belief recognise that the “king has no clothes”
All the best,
Anth.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Wonderful!
I am a 62 year old women who decided to return to school for graduate studies in Social Work. I have been asked and questioned by friend- why at this time in my life. I finally said that I had calculated the odds of being able to support myself with a Bachelor’s degree in communication, particularly since I am not working in the field.
I assessed my skills and evaluated field of study that value age and experience, my choice fit! Social work was an old friend - one I had fail to pursue along time ago. I didn’t go “full circle”, I just made the best circle I could.
I am already a reader of you Daily Tips!
May 21st, 2008 at 4:41 am
Wow you did hit the nail on the head for me! I was ready to give it up because as you said the emperor has no clothes! I have been taken and some of the time i realize now i have not done the research like i should have done and never realized that i should have. One thing is i let people take me and it i know now is more my fault as anyone else. I let them get away with this because i didnt do any research! I had to retire as a Licenced practical Nurse And when i was forced to retire i went back to shcool (college) to upgrade my nursing skills to a RN and then had the surgery that almost crippled me and that was when i was forced to retire. I am not down yet i suppose i need to go to college and take up marketing and start learning from where i do need to learn instead of what i am told. I want you to understand you have finally made some sence to me and i do not blame anyone for my not understanding a lot of things in the world of marketing it ate me and spit out my bones and left the empress with no clothes also. I thank you for being a little brutal being honest is a wonderful thing thanks i really appreciate the wake up call. God bless you Sharron Gorju PS No i do not feel embarressed just rediculas to think i could do this to myself and not realize why.
May 21st, 2008 at 5:17 am
Your beliefs influence your thinking-but for me like you say Anth, it is about knowing your strengths and weaknesses and doing the research on your weaknesses.Recently I have started my own business delivering ‘Drug Awareness and Addiction workshops’the research that went in to it was immense- i looked at what the competition was up to, waht my community was offering, how i could get funded………lots of things and guess what ? sometimes it doesn’t even matter how much reseach you do, if parents and professionals just don’t want to let you in; to give them the information they won’t; sorry thats a lie, they will but they want it for nothing.So i believe that, you can take a horse to the water but you can’t make it drink-unless you colour it up a bit!
May 21st, 2008 at 6:50 am
Common sense at last.
May I share a story? A motoring journalist friend of mine occasionally liked to travel above the speed limit. Perhaps it was early in the morning, the weather was fine and the road was good. He would decide to have, in his words, ‘a tootle’.
But it was always, his words again, ‘With a well-honed sense of self preservation’.
I think it is a motto we can carry into all areas of life where there is risk. And I believe we all need to risk things now and again.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:03 am
“You don’t live in a cosy “Law of Attraction” world that is solely controlled by you!” LOL!!! That was classic! I think you got it there.
I’ve been practicing the Law of Attraction with mixed success (well, and mixed levels of effort as well =P ), but I don’t think anyone was trying to say that belief is ALL you need, or that it’s a magic one-way street to everything you desire. As you said, its quite an important aspect of success, because, if you don’t believe what you want is important, if you don’t believe in yourself but instead believe that it’s a waste of time, you’re not talented enough so why bother trying - well, that’s not exactly a very motivating and inspiring feeling to propell you to ACTION (or research). And any action done while feeling this way can certainly fail (although haven’t you also found yourself pleasantly surprised when something DOES work out, when you doubted it would?) I think belief is really supposed to be consistant, and the first step, but not the whole answer.
If you believe you can “do it”, well, that doesn’t mean you believe you can accomplish it NOW, or even any time soon, but it means you feel excited about learning the skills you need to learn, and the whole process that will GET YOU to that place eventually where you CAN do it then.
Where I’m confused however is when it comes to believing in something that is completely out of your hands. If there is NOTHING you can do to achieve the outcome you want in a particular situation - nothing you can do except either: worry or have faith - then you SHOULD probably believe it will turn out well and have the faith, because, do you really need the stress and feeling miserable until the day when you DO find out the answer? Your positive energy might even help resolve the situation (or not), I guess, right? Is it good to have positive hope and energy for a situation you can not control, or is that just denial that will turn on you later?
Kind of confusing, I know…
May 21st, 2008 at 8:32 am
Thank you for the insightful discernment. We are confused by such quotes; we need to be careful and make sure it has its clothes on!
May 21st, 2008 at 11:02 am
I like coaching because it educates, exercises, motivates, and builds individual potentials into purposeful abilities. The human experience brings the need to be directed, so that we can then direct our selves and the people that depend on our influence. I believe that belief is an emotion, and much like many different emotions has a purpose that needs to be used in the way it is most effective. I know belief works, because I use that emotion for its purposes.
I sculpt in stone, so the application of emotional belief in a vision or idea is an essential part of the creative process. The difference between believing what you see in the stone, and physically taking away parts of the stone to create what you believe is a good example of your coaching us through belief. Where your perspective truly benefits me is in the marketing and sales of my work. Sculpture or art in general comes from the emotional and spiritual state. What sells best is work that touches the emotion of others.
Thank you Anth, your daily coaching tips are working.
May 21st, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Research is important, but skill is vital. I love how you dispelled the myth of belief, i’ve been buying into it just like most people. My problem is lacking skill, I have some knowledge but just don’t seem to be able to perform like everybody else. It takes me time to acquire a skill, but once I do - I do well. Time is just a luxury nobody seems to have. I need a job desperately and if a company needs an employee they don’t have time to waste training. I think skill comes naturally - and I know there has to be another way to acquire it, but I haven’t found it yet. Any suggestions?
May 21st, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Thank You for your insights. In my own experience I am finding that “lie”, lays right in the middle of believe. As I embrace what is true(not “right” or “wrong”), I am becoming more aware that whatever is needed for progress is
available to me NOW, so ALL beliefs are being gently replaced with KNOWING.
May 21st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
The quote reads: ““Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t you are absolutely right!” Henry Ford is absolutely correct. His quote does not suggest that to “Believe” is all we need. It is pointing out the truth that many are not willing to face. We have to first believe in ourselves before we can create the life we deserve.
May 21st, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I loved the article “the emperor has no clothes”. I have read and watched so many self help gurus preach if you you can imagine it will be your reality and always came away thinking if it’s too good to be true it is. I loved how you broke everything down into meaning morsels. Yes we first need to imagine our dreams but then we need to equip ourselves with the knowledge and tools to make our dreams a reality. There is a quote that summarizes this very well”…faith without works is dead”, we can have faith that we will prosper with our dreams but we have to put in the work to make it a reality.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Anth - I love it! So many people think that if they believe, all the goodies will drop into their lap with absolutely no effort on their part. What no-one says is that the belief helps you to recognise the opportunities and motivates you to put in the hard work needed to make the most of them.
We’ve just bought a house. The right house appeared right at the last moment because we were very clear on what we wanted and needed and we could benefit from making a quick decision. BUT we were only clear on what we needed and willing to respond quickly because we had spent time researching the market, looking at our own situation, making ‘wish lists’, checking out online listings, driving through areas of interest to assess the facilities, etc ,and walking through many, many, many open homes. Each place we saw let us know what we didn’t want and also gave us some clearer ideas on what we did want.
It’s great to see a fellow coach willing to speak sense. Keep it up.
May 21st, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Sorry Anth - you say a lot of good sense most of the time - but on this occasion I must agree with Stefani. Poor old Henry is taken out of context and the ‘gurus’ you mention are guilty of this - as you are. And, the attributed quote is more correctly “If you think you can do a thing, or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right. ”
Henry Ford does not talk about a religious ‘belief’ that just attracts stuff to you - he was too practical a man for that! He was talking about what you actually try to do. And, if you are convinced that you can’t do something, no matter whether you have the capability, or access to resources, it is a self-fulfilling prophecy - you won’t do it! Conversely, given the wherewithall to gain the capability, and access the resources, if you believe that you can achieve your goal you can make it happen.
Double amputee Oscar Pistorius getting approval to compete in the Beijing Olympics as a runner helps set the boundaries of the possible - as does the story of Cliff Young, the 61-yr old farmer who won the first 6-day Sydney-to-Melbourne ultramarathon in 1983 - beating the top long-distance athletes against whom he competed. Cliff Young was a real ‘Forrest Gump’, who shared the $10,000 race prize with the other competitors, and set out to run round Australia at age 75, getting half-way and only stopping when his accompanying trainer/supporter died - he was still running in his 80’s. Here are two people who didn’t allow their ‘limits’ to stop them achieving what they believed they could do. Don’t forget, Henry Ford also said “There is no man living that cannot do more than he thinks he can.” He was right there too!
It is self-doubt that is the destroyer of hopes and futures. But, practical man that he was, Henry Ford would almost certainly also tell you that you must actually DO something (not just wish, dream or believe) if you want it to be a reality! Incidentally, Ford also said “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”. And, he would probably have given the ‘gurus’ short shrift!!
Finally, if I didn’t ‘believe’ in May 2007, and take positive action, I would currently be a semi-invalid with a limited life expectancy - not someone now looking forward to a long, active life…..
Big Bad Pete
May 21st, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Anth I have placed you as one of my favourite people on the net and I have always been inspired by your postings. I must say however that I have been given a new lease of life since the wave of “belief theory” has hit the world. I agree with Pete and I believe that evan our works can only take us so far before we need that extra help from “out there” . Maybe the ” out there” help comes ,as it seems to, as a result of us believing.
I now look forward with positive expectation , something the old outlook tried to deny me.
with kindness David
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:23 am
The emperor… is once again without clothing! I have used that expression more in the last few weeks than in my lifetime!… Your wonderful messages continue to inspire. Thank you.
olivia
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:54 am
Thank you Anth for your daily mail. Quite refreshing and which I always take time to read. I usually find something that inspires me for the day!
I was at a meeting last night at Castle Hill, when an 85 year old gentleman turned to a friend of mine and said - Let me tell you a story about Jesus - in the book of Mathew he said to a guy who asked “If you can heal me, I will believe in you” and Jesus turned to him saying “If you believe that I can heal you, then you will be healed”!
Simple really isnt it - what say?…
“Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t you are absolutely right!”
Best wishes Anth, continue your good contribution, its nice to be able to beg to differ sometimes!
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:29 am
I just read this post. Whether Mr. Ford (we do owe him respect!) said “Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t you are absolutely right!” exactly that way or not doesn’t really matter!
I do think that he was right. If you want to achieve it, you MUST believe it’s possible! If you don’t believe it, how hard will you try?
Henry Ford was the force behind the v-8 engine. A LONG time ago, he told his engineers to find a way to cast a block v-8 engine in one casting. (All those holes for the coolant and everything had to be in that block!)
Well, the first engineers came back and said it couldn’t be done. What did he do? He fired them.
The next engineers said the same thing, and the next…until someone figured out how to do it!
If Henry Ford hadn’t believed it could be done, the old “flat-head” v-8 would have never been born.
“Whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t you are absolutely right!”
Henry was right!
May 24th, 2008 at 2:34 am
I read your blog, and I just have too say boo frickin hoo. I mean yes, i get it belief doesn’t control the world but if you constantly tell yourself that you are not capable then you sabotoge yourself, that’s the point, not that you can just will yourself too do unimaginable things that take practice and research. That attitude is a major problem in this world. We are taught that you go too school , do well, go to college, get a job and that’s that, but today there are so many other opportunities out there that were not available 25 years ago ( even 10 for that matter) yet we are majoritively doing the same thing… Here’s a quote for ya.. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.. Albert Einstein. Positivity goes along way and you shouldn’t just blanketly tell people it doesn’t.
Not trying to be bitchy..just my opinion.thanks for listening
Autumn
May 27th, 2008 at 8:24 am
HI Anth I read your blog & daily action tips.your messages inspires me and I have realy benefited from your collection of tips.So, you deserve a praise.About ”The myths of beliefs” it depends on ones undersanding towards our beliefs for one cannot belief that anything is possible without coming to knowledge & understernding in positive perception. Having the faith to fulfill our beliefs leads to true results which wipes away doubt in our inner being.GOD BLESS U ANTH.Joseph,Nairobi,Kenya.bye.
May 29th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Sorry for for being so Naive , and I’m really not as “blond” as I was as a a child - but what exactly does “The Emperor has no clothes” really mean?
Love to hear your understanding, or belief on this.
Interesting because Anthony actually said the “king has no clothes” and everyone starting picking up “emperor” instead of “king”.
Maybe I’m being too petty, but detail seems to pop up with me ,from time to time, but not always where it should!
June 9th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Hi,
I have just been reflecting on the information you provide and when put all together it appears to be a powerful system.
Ther is one point that I could do with some help with. Chapter 2 states-As Henry Ford once famously said, “Whether you believe that you can, or that you can’t – you’re absolutely right!”
In this Chapter - The myth of beliefs, you say He may have been a great industrialist – but in my opinion he was either misquoted or he was wrong!
Could you please say how these references square up when putting all the steps/chapters together. Thanks, Gareth